Is there anything more enjoyable than a brief item from a 19th century newspaper?

For example:

A man was taken out of the Canal last night by the Watchmen and carried to the watch-house. He was so far gone as to be unable to give any account of himself for three hours, but when he did speak he made a promise to quit “wrestling with old Ned,” and if possible keep out of the canal.

Evening Star (Washington (DC), District of Columbia), February 3, 1853: 3. 

“If possible.” Ha.